How many nights so far have I stared upon the ceiling asking, “What have we done?” “How did we get here?” “Why this?” “Why now?”
A few weeks ago, I spent the majority of my conscious time manifesting and planning my future endeavors: traveling, dedicating my life to learning and art and connection, honing my craft and focusing on my spiritual practices. My dreams and goals were birthed from an idyllic, hazy, infatuated afterglow of my own making: not of this labyrinthian societal collapse of sorts.
I’d made vague plans; clarifying and conferring with the universe to not be so rigid with anything. I had made plans with the intention that things would change, things would shift, and I would have to adapt. I had found comfort in the ambiguity and looked forward to the eventual lessons of “letting go” and relinquishing some level of power to the universe, but I knew there were things within my human control.
It’s humbling to be reminded of the fragile concept of “control”.
Even simple things that were within my control aren’t anymore. My routines have all been disrupted: no more gym, no more skiing, no more visiting loved ones, and even my job feels up in the air despite my bosses’ best efforts.
The grocery stores are mad: shelves empty, frenzied energies of the people you pass by, sure to leave 6 feet of clearance between each other. I don’t breathe around people anymore: I anxiously hold my breath and keep my distance. Am I sick? Are any of us sick yet? It’s impossible to know, unless I wait and wait and wait for the hammer to fall: wait for the unbearable guilt and imagining, the paranoia and distress. Who did I give it to? Who did they give it to after me? Are we all sick?
The government is shutting everything down, my job and future plans are in a complete state of uncertainty and limbo: everything is put on pause. Will it ever really “unpause” though? Will we return to the state of normalcy of a few months ago? I don’t know about you, or anyone else, but I hope not.
Mother Nature has officially sent her warning shot to us all.
What we do following this pandemic will solidify our fate as a species. She’s giving us a small taste of her power, and shown us how truly fallible and fragile we all are. Capitalism? Weak. Governments? Barely holding onto any semblance of stability and order. This plague was borne of a system that is unnatural, unsustainable, and erroneously out of control.
This is pure consequence disguised in mystery: a minor cosmic response to the human saga of our absolute raping and ravaging of the earth. We have scarred and scabbed and picked at these open sores on the earth for far too long: over-populating, polluting, and destroying the only home we’ve ever known. We’ve all speculated that this type of reckoning would come, but how? When? In what form? This is our answer.
This reckoning is a cleansing. Mother Nature is attempting to bring some level of balance back to a world that we have altered through our intellect and lack of foresight. It’s horrible, it’s loss, it’s trauma: but it isn’t cruel. This is the natural order of things in any species that gets too big and unruly: we just collectively (wrongly) assume that we’re immune to the natural order of things because we have taken it upon ourselves to control so many aspects of existence. We’ve set up systems to replace the way that we get food, the way that we get information, the way we survive. It’s easy to get lost in the monotony and not pay attention to our frailty when it’s the only thing we’ve ever known. We’ve had a few things in recent history shake up our conceptions of authority over our lives: but nothing quite like this.
We set ourselves up for this failure, and we have to figure out how to get out of it. We have to keep the momentum going and apply it to every aspect of our humanity. This has been going on for far too long, and Mother Nature has had enough of our parasitism.
This cleansing is more than biological: it is also spiritual.
Everybody has the ability to glean lessons from this pandemic, this experience, this upheaval. We all just have to be awake for them. For me, the universe is teaching me to let go and be brave in the face of powerlessness. It is showing me that we can’t go on like this anymore. It is teaching me continue to pay attention to synchronicities, and to be even more considerate to my fellow human. And I am learning that we all have a chance to rise up from this, and be better than we were before.
We don’t have to return to ourselves exactly as we were: we can come out of this stronger, more resolute, more resilient, more energized, more motivated toward self-improvement and actualization. We can use this as a call to action on every front imaginable.
If you are miserable in your life, now is the chance to mobilize. If you had dreams and goals that seemed crazy, everything is crazy right now: so go on and do it. If you have felt compelled to make a difference in this world, whatever the scale, now’s the time to work toward it. If you want to hold onto some level of control in your world, it might be the perfect time for you to adjust your diet, meditate, pick up fasting, start getting outside every day: whatever feels like a step toward a healthier life. Truly, whatever it is, we are being given an opportunity: a silver-lining.
We can all collectively wake up.
We’ve now finally seen the fragility of the world our ancestors built for us: let’s come out of this, unify, and build a better one.